FOR ALL YOU LOVERS OUT THERE

Today is 1-31, or ichi gatsu, san jyu ichi.  Some (perhaps very bored) person somehow rearranged the words to come up with "ai sai," which in Japanese is "love wife."  Thus, a new national holiday was born, Love Your Wife Day.  Husbands vault onto a stage to publicly declare their love for their spouses.  Their professions of devotion are broadcast on national TV (below is a clip).  My favorite part may be when one of the husbands gets down on one knee to present his wife with flowers, and she bows formally to him in proper Japanese style as she accepts them. 

  

INFIDELITY PHONE

There are all sorts of metrics employed to evaluate technology today: cost, speed, weight, apps, etc.  Then there are the demographics to which these metrics apply: women! men! students! professionals! However, this piece from the WSJ exposes a rather specialized market: philandering men.  Apparently Japanese Casanovas favor a certain model of Fujitsu phone (the F-series) that has a privacy mode that allows users to run their phones normally, but hides calls and texts from confidential contacts.  These phones are referred to as uwaki keitai, or infidelity phones.  As one blogger/ladies man wrote:

"Women may want to check my phone for strange emails or calls when I'm not around. With Fujitsu's 'privacy mode,' they can't see that information at all," he said in an email. "The key is to give off the impression that you're not locking your phone at all."

How very thoughtful of him.

For foreigners wondering where to pick up the F-series, alas!  The phone is unique to Japan.  You'll have to juggle romantic partners the old-fashioned way.

HOLD THE MAYO

In the bleak midwinter, most people crave comfort food: soup, lasagna, mashed potatoes, grilled cheese sandwiches, or perhaps a steaming slice of tuna mayonnaise pizza.  The lattermost option probably only applies if you are Japanese.  

My first year in Japan, I tried to stay away from Western food for as long as I could.  Around November, I broke and ordered a pizza at a restaurant in Osaka.  From what I recall, I ordered a veggie pizza, nothing crazy.  What arrived was a pizza with vegetables and tiny dark red and orange globes sprinkled on top.  I moved my face closer to the pizza.  The friend sitting next to me noticed and said, "Fish eggs."  Indeed they were.  

Feel free to disagree, but I believe there are certain things that should never touch your cheese pizza.  These things include, but are not limited to: anchovies, scallops, tuna, squid, raw egg, seaweed, and mayonnaise.  However, these are all popular Japanese toppings, as is corn, which I find inexplicable.  Squid ink is another occasionally used ingredient.  Then there are the stuffed crust options, which include cheese, sausage, and shrimp.

Half the crust is stuffed with cheese, the other half with sausage.  Toppings included tomatoes, corn, edamame, peppers,  tiny hamburger patties, and mayo.  It comes with two dipping sauces, ketchup and maple syrup.  From affotd.com.

Here I thought America had the corner on grotesque foods, but in some respects, I think Japan gives Denny's a run for its money.  

Earlier this month, during a visit from my old roommate MA, I asked him what he had eaten for lunch that day.  "I went to McDonald's,**" he said (a bit sheepishly, I thought), "It was late in the day, and I was so hungry, so I got the Mega Mac."  "What's the Mega Mac?" I asked him. "Oh man, it's amazing! So you know how the Big Mac has two beef patties? Well the Mega Mac has FOUR.  I saw that, and I had to order it."

From tumblr.com

Not all Japanese fast food poses a major health risk, however.  Kaiten sushi is popular, cheap and healthy.  Chefs prepare small plates of sushi, which are then placed on a conveyor belt (preferably with a plastic top for hygiene purposes).  When you see one you like, you reach out and take it.  Your bill is tabulated based on how many plates you've eaten.  Each plate is about 105 yen, though some things like sushi rolls, soup, dessert, etc. are more.  

Kaiten sushi.  From okinawahai.com

**Pronounced MacDoNAL-dos here.  On a similar note, Baskin Robbins is called "31."

THE THINGS SHE ATE

Last year I did an entire blog post on some of the notable things I'd eaten in Japan.  Since then, I've fallen behind on the updates, but here's a selection of the most memorable (read: strange) foods I've encountered.  

Shirako.  The honor for weirdest food eaten (in Japan) would have to go to shirako.  The grannies generously treated me to dinner before the winter holidays, which included a wide variety of traditional Japanese dishes.  One of the courses included shirako, pictured below. At first I thought it was some sort of intestine, which would perhaps have been preferable to reality.  Some of the grannies refused to eat it, which should have been an indicator, but I went ahead and popped it in my mouth.  It had sort of a pudding-y texture (though not as heavy), and no flavor save for the yuzu that had been drizzled on top.  Once I had finished, they told me what it was.  Shirako, you see, is fish sperm sac.  When our server came to clear the plates, she asked one of the grannies in Japanese (she refused to speak to me), "Did the foreigner eat this?"  Beatles granny said yes, but the server asked a couple of more times before she was satisfied that I hadn't pawned it off on someone else.  

Shirako.

Natto.  You aren't really Japanese until you've eaten natto.  Soybeans are taken and fermented with a kind of bacterium, creating a sticky mix that looks like baked beans in a pot of melted cheese.  The taste, however, is more of an acquired one than that.  Some people liken the smell alone to that of old socks on a wet dog.  One of the most frequent tests of a foreigner is whether or not they have eaten natto, and if so, if they liked it.  For a number of people in the older generation, natto is a nostalgic food, like whale meat, which is no longer served, but was a frequent ingredient in school lunches after the world wars.  Natto is a popular breakfast food, and said to keep you hale and hearty. 

From blogs.villagevoice.com

Konnyaku.   There's really nothing offensive about konnyaku. It's more of a texture than a taste, made from "the starch of a tuber called konjac or devil's tongue." However, as Bartleby said, "I would prefer not," with its strange, gelatinous tastelessness.  

Konnyaku.  From thekitchn.com

Chocolat de tomato. I was dared to buy and eat this one late night, and its memory haunts me to this day.  It was, without a doubt, the worst thing I have ever eaten...like a bile-flavored KitKat. 

My nemesis.

Salty Watermelon Pepsi.  Many international companies market different flavors of their products in different countries. This summer, Pepsi put out its salty watermelon soda.  Though not something I'd want to drink on a daily basis, it was actually not disgusting, which is about as high praise as I can give to something with such vividly red and unnatural coloring.  

Not as bad as you might think. 

Akebi fruit.  Originally grown in Tohoku (where the big earthquake was in March), akebi is now grown in different places in Japan. Looks a little larval, but the fruit (the part inside the pod) is quite sweet. The texture's a little like really soft raspberries without the tartness. There are little black seeds inside, but I think you're just supposed to slurp those down, because they're pretty bitter if you chew them. The pod itself can be stir fried and eaten as a vegetable. Leave it to the Japanese to not waste anything.

Akebi

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA, PART II

For me, the main draw of traveling to Korea was to see the Demilitarized Zone.  The situation between the north and south is fairly unique; although the two sides signed an armistice agreement in 1953, a formal peace treaty has remained elusive.  And though there have been relatively few skirmishes since the armistice was established, both sides are constantly poised for war.  Moreover, Panmunjeom, or the Joint Security Area, is perhaps the only military outpost in the world where enemy soldiers face each other in such close proximity everyday.

The Joint Security Area.  The soldier at the top of the stairs is a KPA officer (North Korea).  If you look between the two buildings, where the snow ends and the asphalt begins, that line is the physical demarcation between North and South Korea.  The soldiers from both armies will often stand immediately on either side of that line.

Before you can really examine the current state of the DMZ and its significance, you first have to consider the history of the Korean War.  (If you aren't interested in this part, you can skip below to the header that reads "THE DMZ."  I completely understand.)  Here's a basic outline: following World War II, the Japanese military, which had occupied the Korean peninsula for almost 35 years, relinquished control to the Allies and retreated.  Korea was then split along the 38th parallel, with the Soviets taking charge of the north, while the Americans administered the south, which included Seoul.  Despite attempts to create a Korean government, the two halves could not agree on a political ideology; the north favored Communist rule, while the south pushed for a democratic system.  Sound pretty straightforward?  Here's where it gets complicated.  As the saying goes, "History is written by the victors."  However, in the case of a stalemate it appears that each side gets to tell their own version, forcing the rest of us to take their perspectives with a grain of salt.  The following is an account of the war from the South Korean side, as related by the War Museum.  Please note that there are gaping holes in this narrative, and for a more factual approach, you might as well read Wikipedia.  But as our young South Korean tour guide at the DMZ told us, "It's not that I hate North Korea.  It's just that these are the facts that were told to me by the government."

In 1950, Kim Il-Sung (father of Kim Jong-Il) petitioned for, and received, the blessing of the Communist parties of China and the Soviet Union to invade and capture Seoul.  There was a significant loss of life during the attack, and as the conflict escalated, other world powers became concerned.  [Let's face it, their perturbation had little to do with the violence, and more to do with terror in some quarters over the rise of Communism.]  The newly-minted United Nations voted to send in forces to expel the Communists from Seoul, and perhaps gain even more territory beyond the 38th parallel.  It seemed that the UN forces would prevail in expanding the control of the South Korean government, until the Chinese made good on an earlier pledge to aid the Korean Peoples' Army (KPA), and UN soldiers were forced to maintain their position at the 38th parallel.  In 1953, the armistice agreement was signed, and the DMZ further fortified on both sides.

Over the succeeding decades, North Korea became increasingly isolated, particularly under the rule of Kim Jong-Il.  Meanwhile, South Korea rose as a dynamic economic power in Asia.   Despite almost 50 years of animosity, there are still those who long for reunification.  The founder of Hyundai, Ju-Yung Chung, was a North Korean defector who became a zillionaire entrepreneur in the south.  He was a key supporter of reunification, and personally funded several overtures geared towards bettering relations between the two regions, including using Hyundai trucks to transport herds of cattle into North Korea.  The Hyundai Group also led resort tours of North Korea for South Korean visitors.  This ended abruptly in 2008 when a South Korean tourist was killed while on holiday.  The story goes that a woman left her hotel for a walk one morning, and was later found miles away, shot and killed.  The KPA, which fully admitted to shooting her, claimed that she had been caught snooping in a military area and tried to run.  The South Koreans were not convinced, given that this middle-aged housewife had no means of getting to the place where they found her body, and forensics tests suggested that she had been standing still or walking slowly when shot.  

Today, North Korea closely monitors who enters the country, particularly journalists.  The only entrance is from China, and North Korea is more than happy to take in the Chinese yuan, though from what I hear, their tours are highly restrictive.  No word yet as to whether or not North Korea will become more open to the world under Kim Jong-Un.  (Personally, I highly doubt that Kim Jong-Un is in control of North Korea in any meaningful way; however, I can't deny that he has at least slightly more credibility than his elder brother, Kim Jong-Nam, whose claim to fame is having been deported from Narita airport in Tokyo in 2001, after he was caught entering the country on a forged passport with the intent to visit Disneyland.  I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to, folks.)  The Atlantic recently posted photos from inside North Korea, which was a surprise.  The closest thing I've seen is "Kim Jong-Il Looking at Things," which has now been replaced by "Kim Jong-Un Looking at Things."  

THE DMZ

To get to the DMZ, you have to take a chartered bus north for an hour and a half before you hit the first checkpoint.  The roads within the Joint Security Area (JSA) are circuitous, with multiple barriers and barricades set up along the roads so that cars can't drive a straight route, and instead have to weave their way through.  At the second checkpoint, our military escort, an American PFC, hops on the bus to check everyone's passports and inform the group of the rules.  There are scores of rules that must be followed, regarding dress code, body language (no pointing at North Korea), when photos are allowed and where, and what kinds of personal belongings can accompany people on the tour (no bags, coats must be worn at all times).  We are warned that failure to follow these policies will result in our detainment, and plastic restraints are held up to prove this pronouncement, accompanied by a couple of gleeful stories of the times the PFC has had to use them on someone. 

The tour is efficient in a way that only the military could pull off; we're told that this is in part because North Korea gets nervous if they see people dilly-dallying on the South Korean side, as they assume that the UN and ROK are plotting something dire.  There's a briefing on the history of the DMZ at Camp Bonifas, the advance camp in the JSA.  This is mainly to acquaint the group with the stories behind the sights we'll see on the tour: the UN buildings that have been built to allow for talks between North and South Korea, the Bridge of No Return, the memorial to the 1976 Axe Murders, etc.  

Part of our JSA briefing: tutorial on how to recognize a KPA soldier.  Thanks, guys. 

The Bridge of No Return

After the briefing, the bus takes us deeper within the compound, and the scenes from the window are bizarre when juxtaposed.  First we pass through rows of tall fences topped with razor wire.  The PFC casually gestures to a stretch of land, telling us that it's filled with countless land mines.  The mines make it nearly impossible for defectors to venture into South Korean territory.  However, if someone does somehow make it over, they are subjected to a rigorous screening process to make sure that they aren't in fact North Korean spies.  Even if they pass the tests, they are still regularly monitored, just to make sure.  

Then we drive by tracts of farm land; it appears they're growing rice.  The PFC tells us that as a sign of their continued desire for reunification, both North and South Korean maintain villages on the border.  The North Korean village is referred to as "Propaganda Village," and is little more than rows of empty houses with timed lights.  In South Korea, the Freedom Village thrives, despite the strict regulations imposed on those living there.  Residents are expected to live in the village 240 days a year, and must abide by a nightly curfew.  Men can't marry into the village, and residency is hereditary.  Still, there are huge perks: subsidized farms and housing, and exemption from mandatory military service as well as from taxes.

At some point, a giant flag on an enormous pole can be seen in the distance.  This is our first glimpse into North Korea, into Propaganda Village.  

Propaganda Village, North Korea.  The giant flag that is flying in this photo weighs 600 lbs when it's dry.  During inclement weather, crews of 50-60 men have to lower the flag so that it doesn't tear.

The next stop is at the Peace House, where we are instructed to make two single file lines and follow our guide out to the back, where we can stand in a single line on a step facing the physical line of demarcation between North and South Korea.  As we walk into the building, I pass a pair of mannequins posed stiffly by the entrance, I assume to add gravitas.  It's not until we are halfway into the building that I realize that these are actual Republic of Korea (ROK) soldiers, whose posture is so exquisite and frozen that it is unreal.  They stand in a modified judo pose wearing sunglasses, even indoors.  They are more than a little intimidating.  

ROK soldier, standing on the line between South and North Korea.

We get to go into one of the UN conference buildings, which sits directly on the line of demarcation, bisecting the structure into a North Korean side and a South Korean side.  The conference table also sits directly on top of the line.  In the photo above, the North Korean sit on the left, and the North Koreans sit on the right.  Or they would if they actually attended the peace talks; the North Koreans have not sent a delegation since 1991. 

The UN huts in front of Panmungak, or the building that represents North Korea at the JSA.

The tour also included a visit to Dorasan Station, which is located on a now defunct train line connecting North and South Korea.  You can buy a "ticket" to Pyongyang, though you can't even access the train platform.  Finally, there is a stop at the Third Infiltration Tunnel.  Kim Il-Sung ordered 5 tunnels to be dug into South Korea.  A North Korean defector notified the ROK government of their existence, which the North Koreans tried to cover up by painting the walls of the tunnel with coal dust and insisting that the shafts were dug for mining purposes.  The tunnels were purportedly designed to allow thousands of KPA troops to pass through within hours.  Having been down in the tunnel, this seems hard to believe.  The ceilings are only about five feet, eight inches tall, and the width is barely enough to accommodate two lines of people trying to get in and out.  Not one for claustrophobia, I have to say that I counted the seconds until I could get out of that cramped space (and away from the racous Chinese tourists who kept shoving me).  

At Dorasan Station.  When reunification occurs, Dorasan will act as the main station between the two countries. 

Inside the Third Infiltration Tunnel.  Can you see the panic in my eyes?

It's difficult to get a sense of how South Koreans feel about the split in modern day.  Maybe one indicator of public sentiment is the maudlin film Joint Security Area, one of the highest grossing films in South Korean history.  We watched the movie on the bus on our return to Seoul; however, our tour guide was very clear that not all South Koreans shared the feelings expressed therein.  Some are still gung-ho about reunification, while others regard this as a disaster, having witnessed how West Germany became responsible for revitalizing East Germany after the Berlin Wall was brought down.  

I leave you with this thought from the educational film at the Third Infiltration Tunnel (incidentally, one of the most jingoistic pieces of cinema I've ever experienced):"Until the dream of reunification is achieved, the DMZ will last forever!"  

Choco pies! Beloved by Koreans (and foreigners).  In South Korea, a box of 18 choco pies costs approximately $6.  In North Korea, where there are no choco pies, one choco pie runs for almost $4 on the black market.

YEAR OF THE SNAKE

And so the wheel of the zodiac turns, placing us firmly in the Year of the Snake.   Last year I detailed some of the traditions associated with Japanese new year: hatsumode (the first visit of the year to the local shrine), ritual cleaning of homes, and enthusiastic consumption of osechi ryori (traditional new years foods).

Mmm, osechi.  From kyotofoodie.com

This year I deprived myself of the Japanese new years traditions by being in the States for the holiday.  However, in talking to my Japanese friends about their vacations, I learned some great sayings.  First, kiteru ureshi, kaite ureshi, or "Glad to come, glad to leave," capturing the emotions of spending time with one's family.  Then there was mikka bouzu, which literally means "three day monk," and signifies someone who makes a decision to do something, but quickly forgets or loses their resolve after three days.  Many Japanese people decry resolution-making as a set up for being mikka bouzu.  

While discussing resolutions for 2013 with the grannies, they all spoke of an eagerness to enjoy themselves "in the twilight of my life," as one put it.  (Why they need me as an English teacher, I have no clue.)  On a whim, I decided to teach them the acronym "YOLO," or, "You Only Live Once."  I explained that many people employ YOLO as a mantra in their lives in terms of seizing opportunities and taking risks.  One of the grannies snorted with laughter and muttered something.  "What is it?" I asked her.  "Oh nothing," she said, a little sheepish, "YOLO sounds like yoroin."  The entire class erupted into laughter.  Yoroin means "nursing home" in Japanese.  

Of the many resolutions I heard for 2013, Paul related to me a clear winner.  "One of my students told me he wants to stop masturbating," he wrote.  "I hope he succeeds."

EQUAL RIGHTS IN JAPAN

Here is an interesting read on a relatively unknown hero, Beate Sirota Gordon, who drafted the language guaranteeing equal rights for women in the Japanese constitution, including the freedom to marry, the right to choose where they live, and the right to inherit property.  Gordon led a remarkable life, first growing up in Japan before coming to America to attend university.  She was one of 65 people in the United States who spoke Japanese at the time of the attacks at Pearl Harbor, and she was quickly enlisted to act as a translator for General MacArthur in Japan, making her the first female civilian American participating there.  


Gordon's efforts have empowered millions of women in Japan, but there are still issues to overcome.  Japan is still a male-dominated society.  There are few to no prominent female political or business leaders in the country.  The majority of my female students, when asked about their future plans, immediately talk about wanting to get married and have a family.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but when you talk to some of them, you get the distinct feeling that they regard this as their sole purpose in life.  Even though more and more women are eschewing marriage in order to pursue careers, it doesn't seem as though they are advancing in the way that their male peers do.  

Gordon died this week at the age of 89.  Her obituary from The New York Times is here.