KUUKI YOMENAI

Sometimes over the course of a Japanese conversation you'll hear someone say KY, which has nothing to do with personal lubricant and stands for kuuki yomenai.  Curious, I asked one of my students one day what this meant.  "Oh," she said, coloring a little. "It means 'can't read the air.' It's not a good thing," she said as an afterthought.  KY is essentially when someone can't read a situation properly, like that guy at parties who walks up to someone they haven't seen in a long time and starts asking questions about the other person's significant other, not realizing that everyone else is shifting uncomfortably and the respondent is giving one-word answers because the couple recently had a nasty break up.  People usually feel embarrassed about these kinds of slip ups when they come to light, but in Japan, they're a deep source of shame.  

Foreigners are particularly prone to being KY, especially cultures that are accustomed to communicating in a "shoot from the hip" manner.  This straightforwardness can come off as aggressive or confrontational to the Japanese, who try to evade such rudeness by avoiding saying things that are negative, like the word, "No."  It takes time and experience to be able to "read the air" and fathom what's going on in these nebulous situations.  

For example, you might approach your boss with a proposal and receive the response, "Hmm, muzukashii" (difficult). But what does that mean? Where on the yes-no-maybe spectrum does that fall? If you answered, "no," then you're correct.  "Muzukashii" is code for, "Nope. Not going to happen."  This ambiguity is meant in the nicest way possible, allowing people to save face.  However, it can be frustrating for those who can't read the signs and just want a clear cut answer.  JETs have dozens of stories in this vein, from asking for feedback on their teaching and being told they were doing fine and didn't need to improve, to questioning a compliment someone paid them and wondering if it was really a backhanded criticism (it's usually not a good sign when someone says, "Oh, that skirt is interesting," or, "You wear such bright shirts.") Thus, it is nearly impossible to get certain kinds of feedback in Japanese society, or even to learn peoples' opinions on particular topics. So I was surprised at my most recent meeting with the grannies, when they began to hold forth on foreign policy.  

The conversation started when Current Events Granny said, out of the blue, "Obama doesn't care about America's relationship with Japan."  Taken aback, I looked around the table to gauge the others' reaction, and found them all nodding vigorously, saying, "Yes! It's true, isn't it, Eri-sensei?"  Current Events Granny continued, "He only cares about China and South Korea! I know that Japan's economy is not good. It is a big worry.  I know that our population is getting smaller, but..."  The end to this sentence was clear: "But he should take us seriously!" Apparently the country was chapped when the American government didn't come out with a stronger stance against China's aggression over the Senkaku Islands.  Never mind that nothing and no one lives there and the "islands" are essentially two barren rocks.  Pride is everything. 

The source of all the trouble: Senkaku Islands

So there I was in the diplomatic hot seat, feeling as though I needed to defend my homeland and the foreign policies of a man I've never met.  I tried to argue that America feels secure in its relationship with Japan as we do with the United Kingdom or Germany, but that we have to pick our battles (they liked this idiomatic expression) and shore up some of the priorities in the Pacific, like China, who has huge financial power but is somewhat prickly and erratic, and South Korea, which is a stable country friendly to the US, but is next door to a country that is definitely prickly and incredibly erratic.  I didn't mention that it's also probably in Japan's best interest for America to maintain a good relationship with China especially, to give us leverage when the Chinese government flies off the handle about things as minute as a couple of rocks in the ocean.  I'm not sure that this convinced the grannies, who were feeling rather cantankerous, but the discussion did shift to the emerging world powers, particularly BRICS.   I commented as an aside that I couldn't figure out how Russia made that list, and Current Events Granny exploded, "Putin! I dislike him!"  Shocking!  The Western equivalent of this statement would be: "Putin! What a mother$%#*@*!" Before we could delve into this latest outburst, Lone Grandpa started asking me about the history of Israel and Palestine.  Honestly, I know less than I would like about this history, and so I ended up giving a brief sketch of the book of Genesis with Abraham, Sarah and Hagar and then jumped way into the future with the end of WWII and the creation of the state of Israel, leaving out a millennium or two of history in between.  The group sat through all this quietly, diligently taking notes, and when I finished, Lone Grandpa's response was: "Israel. They are troublemakers." "I know!" said Beatles Granny, "Since ancient times!"  It appeared no one was to be spared the wrath of the grannies this day.    

However, the group will be happy to know that Japan's refusal to go quietly into that goodnight is being noticed by the Western world.  The Japanese military is starting to reach out to some of its Pacific neighbors (and beyond) to train foreign militaries in Japanese tactics and strategies.  It should be noted that the readiness with which some of these countries have accepted Japan's overtures (many of whom had less than pleasant experiences under Japanese imperialism) is a testament to just how nervous China makes everyone.  It will be fascinating to see what comes of these collaborations, and what, if any, effect it will have on diplomacy in Asia, not to mention the Japanese military.  Will they expand their defense systems, or will things remain as they are?  

TOTO SAN

On their recent visit to Japan, my aunt and uncle spoke frequently of their need "to visit TOTO-san."  TOTO is the leading manufacturer of Washlet toilets in Japan, which are some of the most technologically advanced thrones in the business.  Seriously, the number of buttons on a Japanese toilet make you feel as though you're sitting in the cockpit of a spaceship.  

From http://www.thefastertimes.com

Visitors to Japan constantly remark on the Washlet facilities.  "Ahhhh," said a friend who had visited Japan previously, "I've missed the heated toilet seats here. They are awesome."  A family member told me in hushed tones after a bathroom break, "I have to say, I really like the bidet function.  I mean, I used to think, 'Gross,' or 'Uncomfortable,' but really, it's quite nice and cleansing."  For those of you who are missing out with your cold, dirty, boring toilets, good news: TOTO is hoping to create a niche for itself in the international toilet market, bringing its civilized toilet experience to foreigners everywhere.  Allow me to throw my hat into this ring and say that I heartily support TOTO internationalization.  Our bums will thank us. 

KAGOSHIMA, KYUSHU

Thanks to its discount airline, Peach Air, Japan is making it a lot easier (and cheaper) to travel domestically.  For a paltry $80, I secured a round-trip ticket to Kyushu, the second most southern island in the archipelago.  And because it's Japan, even the cheapest airline (like Peach) is far and above the standards of most major US companies.  Clean!  Efficient!  Plenty of leg room!  Reasonably-sized overhead bins!  It made a United flight feel like a dingy tin can.

Still, there were some surprises.  For one thing, I was never asked to present my ID, not at check in or at security, or even at the gate.  I wasn't required to remove my shoes while going through security.  Liquids of any size were permitted.  Maybe this should have made me feel good.  Here I was, able to bring a six pack of beer on board if I so chose!  However, instead of feeling rebellious or free, I felt slightly anxious.  It's a sad fact that the post-9/11 travel restrictions have conditioned us so that just the thought of full-sized toiletries in one's carry-on is a source of panic.

I landed in Kagoshima, a city in the south of Kyushu.  Kagoshima is fairly unremarkable-looking. With the exception of Tokyo and Hiroshima, most Japanese cities look exactly the same: ugly concrete boxes spread across the landscape, displaying very little architectural or artistic character, much less taste.  A study of the city map left me wishing I knew more about Japanese history and the Meiji restoration, particularly some guy named Saigo, to whom statues were erected everywhere.  Other points on the map were labeled things like "Place of Saigo's birth," "Cave where Saigo hid," "Place of Saigo's death," and "Saigo ate lunch here."

In addition to its contributions to Japanese history, Kagoshima is famous for: radishes, onsen, an active volcano, and kurobuta (black pork).  It is also the place where St. Francis Xavier arrived in 1549 and began the spread of Christianity throughout Japan.  However, Kagoshima's greatest claim to fame may be that it is the sister city of Miami, FL.  Alas, there was no one selling cortados and Cuban sandwiches in the area, so clearly the two need to work on their cultural exchange.

I want to chronicle the many wonders of Kagoshima I experienced, and I want to start with ramen.  If you think ramen is dried noodles in a cup (as I once did) eaten by the poor or cooking-challenged, you are missing out on one of the great Japanese dishes.  Ramen is kind of the Japanese soup equivalent of pizza in America: relatively cheap, tasty, and unique to different regions.  Kagoshima ramen is the best I've tasted thus far.  Filled with tender, braised black pork, egg noodles, mushrooms, scallions and fried garlic, this is comfort food at its best.  I sought its comfort twice in the four days I was there, and was never disappointed.

American ramen: a travesty.  From: http://freshthemagazine.com

Kagoshima ramen

Kagoshima also offers a unique onsen experience: being buried in hot volcanic sand by the sea.  I made the 1.5 hr trek out to the infamous sand bath locale, Ibusuki.  $10 got me a thin cotton robe and a small towel, and I was ushered into the women's changing room (with heated wooden floors) to strip down, don my yukata, and head out to the sea.  As I exited for the sand baths, I caught sight of a sign that said, "Take care the burns."  The sand is supposed to be marvelous for many reasons, which I think are best summed up by the local brochure:

Nowadays, there are various stresses that break the balance of the human body and can lead to sickness.  According to recent research, it is found that stress weakens the immunity. Which means the human body sickness is caused from the sick heart.  This is why it is very important for people to allow their heart to rest.  The hot spring will comfort the heart, mind, and soul by all means of "Hot Spring."

Sand Bath- Effect

Sand bath is effective for relieving the following: NEURALGIA, RHEUMATISM, LUMBAGO, ARTHRITIS, FRACTURES, PARALYTIC SYMPTOMS, AFTER A STROKE, SEQUELA BY A CAR ACCIDENT, BURNING [burns? Why is hot sand good for burns?], WEAK CONSTITUTION CHILD, ATOPY, SKIN DISEASE, PILES [had to look this one up, and then was sorry that I did], ASTHMA, DIABETES, ALIMENTARY DISORDER, IRREGULAR MENSTRUATION, STERILITY, ANAEMIA, SENSITIVITY TO COLD, CONSTIPATION, OVER WEIGHT AND BEAUTY TREATMENT.

When I arrived at the bathing area, attendants in Wellington boots and head towels were preparing the sand by pouring boiling water (perhaps from a local hot spring?) over large quadrants, and then raking it.  There were about ten people (all middle-aged or elderly) already buried, their heads sticking out of the sand.  An attendant quickly dug me a pit, helped me tie a towel around my hair, and then buried me in the sand, telling me that I should get out in 10 minutes.  The sand was nice and warm, and I immediately began to sweat, savoring the thought that I was cleansing myself of toxins.  By minute 10, I still felt pretty good, so I resolved to stay in for another 5 minutes.  I made it, but just barely, eventually feeling a little overwhelmed by the combination of the heat and the heaviness of the sand.

From http://www.japanbiking.com

At minute 15, I quickly popped out and made my way to the regular onsen inside the complex, where I showered and dressed again.  My one regret from the day is that there is no photographic evidence of me buried in the sand.  Ah, the pitfalls of traveling alone.

Next up was Sakurajima, the volcanic island located just a short ferry ride from Kagoshima.  Sakurajima is unique in that it is populated with businesses, schools, post offices, and homes, all surrounding an active volcano, which frequently puffs smoke and blows ash into the air, which covers everything in a gritty film.  In fact, as we waited for the ferry to embark into the placid morning, the volcano soundlessly started spewing smoke in large columns, and kept doing this throughout the day.

Sakurajima

In addition to the views and hiking to be experienced around Sakurajima, the island's other attraction is its dinosaur park.  JK and I walked to the top of a steep hill to find a sprawling park filled with jungle gyms and a myriad of creatures: two brontosauruses, a T-rex, a stegosaurus, a diometrodon, a tiger, two lions, and a panda, which I thought was a particularly nice touch.  Alas, there was no triceratops  Joining us at the park was a group of primary school children, who were sitting docilely on little squares of plastic when we arrived, eating their lunches.  This gave us ample opportunity to play on the equipment while the children were occupied, giggling while we raced around.  However, once the kids started to run amok, I quickly became that person that parents fear, standing in the distance with my camera and take photograph after photograph of them going down slides, hanging off the jungle gyms, and generally being adorable in their little uniforms and hats.

I fulfill a life dream and ride a stegosaurus

JK and I proceeded on our hike of the island, walking through some of the trenches made by falling lava over the years, and generally hoping that the volcano didn't decide to suddenly erupt.  At one point, we stumbled across an area where a famous rock concert had taken place in the early 2000s, drawing thousands of people. There's a statue erected in commemoration.

Concert site.

After several hours of hiking the hot and dusty trails, we made our way to the local foot onsen overlooking the sea, where we submerged our tired feet in the hot mineral water.  I thought JK would cry from happiness.  After about an hour, I dragged a most unwilling JK out of the foot spa and back towards the ferry...and ramen.