Last week Mr. M was on holiday in Italy, which meant that the grannies and I were left to our own devices for our English conversation group. I joked about his absence, saying that we were having a girls' night out (substitute green tea for cocktails). In turn, they taught me a Japanese saying, "genki de teshu rusugai,"or, "happy when the husband is away." While it's often difficult for women whose husbands work far away from home, they grow used to it, to a point where it's almost more disruptive having their husbands home than not. This tension comes to a head when the husband retires and returns home full-time. Take Mr. M, for instance.
Part of what's so endearing about Mr. M is how he has adjusted to retirement. Among the many hobbies he's taken up, he's started learning how to cook, since his wife informed him that just because he was going to be home for lunch didn't mean she was going to make it for him. In fact, to hear him tell it, he is on his own a lot. His wife is very busy with friends and various volunteer positions, leaving him with a lot of free time on his hands. Instead of resenting his wife, or twiddling his thumbs at home, Mr. M seems fairly exhilarated by his freedom. Conversely, many women who hope to spend more time with their husbands after they retire find themselves to be forsaken for various hobbies. There are apparently a lot of "golf widows" or "softball widows." Beyond how much time couples spend together post-retirement, the task of running a household can be a source of contention as well. Sometimes this involves simple tasks like washing up- "My husband drinks tea all day. I told him that he had to start washing his own dishes, because I did not like him putting dirty things in the sink AFTER I had finished washing all the things!" said a particularly irate granny. But there are other issues as well, such as who has control over family finances.
As far as typical household management goes in Japan, families employ different means of accounting. Some men have no say over the finances. They deposit their salaries into a bank account, and then their wives make withdrawals, and report back on what they've spent. Mr. M freely admits that he doesn't even have a bank card, so he has to rely on his wife to withdraw money for him. One woman told me that she can authorize payment for sums up to 100,000 yen ($1,000). If it's over 500,000 yen, she consults with her husband. In other families, women receive a monthly allowance, to do with as they choose. Often, these women set aside hezokuri, or money saved from allowances to spend at will. Often "at will" means doing something nice for someone else in the family, like buying their husband a new pair of pants, or saving for a birthday present for one of their kids. There is a relatively recent law that states that after a man retires and receives his pension, his wife is allowed to divorce him and take half of his money. This raised a lot of eyebrows among the older generations in particular. Measures like these are some of small steps towards female empowerment going on in Japan. Even the imperial family is not immune from liberalization efforts.
Recently there's been discussion of the constitutionality of the "female lines" of the imperial family. Specifically, whether imperial women who marry commoners are allowed to retain imperial status and set up their own branches of the family, wherein any children resulting from those marriages would have imperial authority handed down to them. The concern is that if the tradition of the male lineage is left intact, the line will die out. Today, the emperor has only one male heir, Prince Hisahito, who has two daughters. Conservatives who are against changing the constitution cite history as their main support, although they also argue that since the commoner husbands of the imperial women could never have exalted status, it would be unfair to make the children of these marriages eligible for certain honors and privileges, but not one of their parents. I highly doubt a change will be made. Those in favor of allowing female lines don't care enough about the imperial family to push for it, while the people who are die hard loyalists are mostly too conservative to divert from tradition. Sorry, ladies. Might as well go out and buy yourself something pretty.
JAPAN AND KOREA, SITTIN' IN A TREE
Japan is in love with Korea. South Korea, that is. This is probably due to the fact that the modern culture of South Korea is synonymous with that of modern day Japan. Meanwhile, North Koreans are mainly known as a bunch of drug dealer thugs. So when the North Korean rocket launch failed earlier this week, the Japanese had some choice words for the people of the Powerful and Prosperous Nation. One JET wrote on Facebook:
Word of the day: ZAMAMIRO. It's Japanese slang for "serves you right". And this was how one of our teachers reacted to the North Korean failed rocket launch today.
Another JET reported that they had turned on the TV in the staff room to watch the news, but when they learned that the launch had been unsuccessful, they switched to another channel. The next program was a morning talk show whose topic for the day was analyzing the different janken (rock, paper, scissors) styles of celebrities.*
*Janken is more than just a children's game here. It's used as a tie-breaker and decision-maker on almost a daily basis. I have personally seen grown professionals janken over the best way to reorganize a seating chart for the staff room.
WHAT THE JAPANESE THINK OF AMERICAN CONSERVATISM
Hold on to your hats, folks. There may be a new kind of tea party coming to Japan. The Atlantic recently featured an article about members of various Japanese conservative parties who are attending GOP meetings and conventions in order to get some tips on how the Tea Party has been so successful. According to the visiting politicians interviewed for this piece, the Japanese find politics "boring," and so they are looking for ways to jolt people out of their apathy There are several gems throughout the article, including what the Japanese think of the GOP candidates, their affinity for Herman Cain, and the one delegation member who reported that the leader of his party is actually the reincarnation of the Buddha. Still, this is by far the best punchline:
But the Tokyo Tea Party does not embrace all aspects of America’s conservative legacy. Watase told me that he is less than inspired by the example of the original Boston Tea Party: “They threw away the tea, which is very valuable,” he said disapprovingly. “Japanese people value tea. We would never throw it out; we would save it.”
He thought for a moment longer. “Also,” he said, “it would be green tea.”
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