LIP MY STOCKINGS

Today's post is sure to make my mother squirm, assuming that she's even reading this.  So this week we're going to be examining some of Japan's most bizarre fetishes, which are not for the faint of heart.  Most of the stuff I'm including is pretty tame (I'm too scared to research the hardcore stuff), and I'm not going to provide links to anything that really crosses a line.  Which is A LOT, as it so happens.  Anyone who's seen "Lost in Translation" will probably remember the awkward encounter of Bill Murray and an unknown Japanese woman in his hotel room.  He's mystified as to what she's doing there, and why she keeps telling him to "lip my stockings."  She seems to be trying to seduce him, but any time his hand so much as grazes her person, she collapses in a heap of flailing arms and limbs, shouting "No, Mr. Bob Halis, no!" before trying to pull him closer.  We infer that she believes that some men are attracted to women who flirt and then protest.  That's weird, right?  Turns out it's only the tip of the iceberg.

I was surprised to learn as I was preparing to move here that there are certain goods that expats recommend you bring with you to Japan, because you either can't find them here, or they are not the same strength as products from home.  Toothpaste, deodorant, tampons, and aspirin are all on the list.  However, there are some things that you may really want to have in Japan, but aren't allowed to bring in, including cold medicine, over-the-counter allergy meds, and porn.  Several males were very matter-of-fact: "I mean, they have porn in Japan, but the laws don't allow them to show specific body parts like genitalia, so all of it's kind of blurred.  So, um, yeah.  That's why they won't let you bring in western porn, because they don't blur stuff.  So if you want that kind of stuff, you'll have to have someone send it to you in the mail.  But it could still be confiscated by customs, so be aware of that." Catholic friend MB was dismayed to find a cache of his predecessor's porn contraband as he was cleaning out his apartment.  He told me, "I mean, I don't why the guy couldn't have just thrown it out when he left. Or taken it with him, you know? It's not like it's illegal in his home country." He looked at the pile and shuddered a little.  Not that the embargo on pornography really matters, since you can get real, live sexy times at select locations throughout the country. 

The list of things that Japanese men purportedly find to be a turn on (because who cares what women like) would mystify even Freud.  Last week, I mentioned body pillows and life-sized plastic dolls.  Vending machines selling (used) panties are also a fad in some major cities.  Other usual suspects include school girl uniforms, baby doll dresses, knee-high stockings, and the like. From there, the predilections go off in all sorts of tangents.  Here's a selection of the most memorable: 

1. Diapers.  There are many schools of the diaper fetish.  Some involve the apparent allure of urinating on oneself; others revolve around men wearing a diaper and being babied by women.  In bebigyaru ("baby girl"), women wear the diapers and parade around in front of men.  

They're so slimming
From www.9ghealthfoods.com

2. Face farting.  I trust this is self-explanatory.

From www.dannychoo.com

3. Cat slapping.  Taken from the English term "cat fight," cat slapping celebrates women hitting each other across the face.  It's considered particularly sporting to watch porn actresses walk through the streets slapping unsuspecting women.   

4. Fish/food.  A guy from vice.com (the website pretty much says it all) did an interview with a Japanese pornographer who has been incorporating different "foods" into the making of his films.  To be clear, there is no bestiality involved,** though I'm sure PETA would have a fit (some of the foods are eaten alive during the shoot, others are inserted into various orifices, etc).  The producer argues that there is a niche for watching women covered in worms, insects, fish, and frogs.  The still shots that are shown in the clip are pretty outrageous, but weirdly artistic, as though Tim Burton were chosen to direct a shoot for Playboy.  However, when the interviewer pays the producer the compliment of saying, "These are actually kind of artistic. Is this about art for you?," the producer muses for a moment before replying, "Mmm, some people ask me if this is art.  For me, it is not art.  It is just pornography."  So much for trying to elevate his work. The vice video is prurient enough that I'm not going to link to it.  If you really want to gross yourself out, you can search for "Genki and the Art of Eel Porn."

**That ickiness is reserved for a Japanese phenomenon called "tentacle rape."  Apparently some men, including renowned woodblock print artist Katsushika Hokusai, found the idea of women and octopi or squid getting frisky with one another to be quite appealing.  Hokusai's "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife" (maybe don't click on this link at work) is a prime example of this progressive relationship. 

5. Teeth.  Men watch women brush their teeth, floss, undergo dental exams and x-rays, or enjoy a meal (though I can't imagine watching someone eat corn on the cob would be all that appealing, even if you had a fetish for teeth).

THE MEA CULPA AND THE NOT QUITE

A few weeks ago, I mentioned a story from This American Life that covered the conditions of factories in China that happen to make Apple products.  Since then, a number of related stories have followed, including a front page spread in The New York Times.  Petitions have gone up, urging Apple to make an audit of their factories, which they have started.  Then last week, TAL issued a retraction of their original story, saying that the source of their material (a one-man show by a guy named Mike Daisey) had numerous discrepancies. To wit, Daisey had lied about several details in his show, some more egregious than others.  TAL is doing an entire show dedicated to retracting the first podcast, and to separate the lies from the truth.  

I think TAL has acted honorably in their retraction, and they acknowledge that although they fact checked as much as they could have before broadcasting the story initially, there were holes that should have made them shelve it.  Examining what's been written about the whole debacle, it seems most people have come down on the side of TAL, and feel that Daisey should have been more forthcoming about his material and how he secured it.  The sad thing is that there are many objectionable practices going on in factories like Foxconn, things that can be independently verified by watchdog and humanitarian organizations.  Unfortunately, these stories get overshadowed when people (Daisey) embellish their reports.  Some argue that snafus like this can even hinder US-China relations, allowing China to shake a finger at the US media for smearing them with biased stories.   

What I find really galling is Daisey's response to these revelations.  He says he regrets allowing TAL to air his story under the guise of journalism, but that he stands by its accuracy.  He claims that the standards of theatre are not the same as those of journalism, making his embellishments art, not lies.  This seems disingenuous to me, to put out a chronological narrative, to characterize these moments as actual events, and then when caught having fabricated details, say that fictional liberties were taken in the pursuit of raising awareness through art. I'm going to let Mike Daisey have the last word on this, in a quote from his act that turned out to be true: "And she [Cathy, his interpreter in China] says, you will lie to them [the factories]. And I say, yes Cathy, I'm going to lie to lots of people."

"I GUESS YOU ARE AMERICAN"

Japan celebrates the vernal equinox with a national holiday, which this year fell on March 20th　(also my uncle's birthday!  Happy Birthday, Uncle Stu).  Instead of going forth to learn more about Japan, I chose to make the two hour slog to my new Mecca: Costco.  En route, Bearded AL made the comment that he disparages bulk foods outfits like Costco and Sam's Club in the States.  They are, he argues, a symptom of what's wrong with the country: gross consumerism, wastefulness, rant rant rant.  However, 2 minutes into Costco, and all his qualms were forgotten.  Applying for membership was fairly painless, save for having to watch countless carts of Kettle potato chips, sheet cakes, rolls, and other sundries pass by.  The line was predominantly made up of Japanese people, although there was a Peruvian family and another Western couple waiting as well.  We traded knowing smiles with one another, as if to say, "Yes, this is where we belong, isn't it?" When we crossed the threshold with our new cards, I suddenly felt as though I loved everyone in the world.

We made an excellent decision to eat lunch in the Costco cafeteria before shopping.  The cafeteria was mobbed; people were literally squatting on the floor, eating their food.  I took comfort in the American decor: concrete floors, stainless steel relish and onion dispensers, the floor littered with dropped bits of food and spilled liquids.  At first it was hard to decide what to order: pizza or a hot dog? There was also a bulgoki option, but that seemed like sacrilege at Costco.  I opted for a giant slice of New York-style pizza, the kind that you have to fold in half to eat, but only after you let some of the grease drop off and pool on your plate.  One slice of pizza was $3.  The western-sized soda cups (with free refills!) were $1.*** We bought our lunches, walked 3 feet from the register, sat down on the cold Costco floor, and devoured every last morsel.  And then got a refill.  Then there was a quick stop at the toilets.  More joy ensued.  All the toilets were western-style! There was soap at the sinks [not a given in Japan]! The faucets gushed warm water [all water here is cold, to save on heating costs]!!  All of this augured well for the rest of the Costco experience.    

The next hour and a half passed quickly and incomprehensibly.  Things, so many things!, were thrown into the cart for purchase.  There were victories (bagels!) and failures (no pie or baking mixes).  We ran into Brendon, the English-speaking manager, who told us that if we had difficulty finding anything, we should let him know, and he would tell us why they didn't have it.  We debated over how many things we could load ourselves down with and still make the 30 minute walk back to the train station.  We giggled like children over pasta sauce, cereal, and hot cocoa powder.  And finally, we were done.  We grabbed one last refill and hobbled to the station, still high on Costco adrenaline.  But we'll be back.  Next time with a giant roller bag.       

Gone, but not forgotten

 ***A few things to put into perspective: first, a Japanese medium size drink is the equivalent of a western small.  A small, personal-sized pizza is typically $15.  A can of coke from a vending machine is $2.