I blinked, and it was Christmas. It turns that that when you aren't assaulted with Christmas decorations and commercials on October 21st, the holidays kind of sneak up on you. With my shopping done, and grades turned in, I can finally enjoy the holiday season. Or at least the Japanese approximation of the holiday season. Not that there's any need to be PC when it comes to the holidays here- Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are all unheard of- you might as well be talking about Festivus. So for the purposes of this blog entry, we'll be talking about Christmas.
As one might imagine, Christmas in Japan is a little different than in the Western world. There are elements of Christmas in places that involve shopping: lights, small (fake) trees, poinsettas, and at my grocery store, an inflatable Santa. Christmas music can be heard; namely, "Happy Xmas (The War is Over)," "Last Christmas," and "Please Come Home for Christmas," which are played on repeat. Throw in "I'll Be Home for Christmas," and you have some of the most depressing holiday songs in existence, except for "Happy Xmas," which is meant to be uplifting, but is depressing simply because it's so awful.
Why is Christmas celebrated? Where does Santa live? Who's your favorite reindeer? (Prancer, obviously) What are the terms and conditions for getting presents? These are questions without answers in Japan. Instead, Christmas is a day for unmarried couples to go on special, romantic dates and exchange gifts, and for parents and grandparents to give small presents (purportedly from Santa) to very young children. It's a day to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken and Christmas cake, both of which have to be ordered about a month in advance due to popularity. But it's also a day like any other, where everything is open and everyone goes to work.
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| Please note the Col. in his Santa suit |
So it is up to us as the gaijin to make our own Christmas. This past weekend saw a cross-cultural Christmas party with eggnog, multi-flavored Kit Kats, homemade ginger snaps, bread and cheese, hot whiskeys, chocolate, and mince pies (which are very different from mincemeat pies). This coming weekend we take Osaka by storm, visiting their Christmas market, viewing the illuminations, and consuming vast quantities of gluhwein and grilled sausages, possibly whilst wearing Santa hats. We will watch Christmas movies and go caroling outside of the train station in Nara City (I'm fighting hard to make it a busking event so we can drink more hot whiskeys later on) and perhaps even stage a white elephant. As for Christmas Day itself, I will spend the day with friends. I am going to buy myself a block of cheddar cheese, go to mass with Paul, maybe get a massage, and Skype with my family. Lofty plans, I know. It's Christmas, when all our dreams come true.
GREATEST HITS FROM EXAMS
Q: What is the dish you eat before your main meal?
A: Two hands washing is.
Q: What is the word for a person who works at a restaurant?
A: It's a woman.
"Mt. Fuji is made into the sightseeing spot at the mountain-climbing spot, and was well used also for the picture of the wall of a public bath a long time ago."
I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS SCATALOGICAL THOUGHT
Call me crazy, but I've recently realized a key benefit of the squat toilets here. In addition to being a great workout for your quads, it saves you from having to sit on a cold toilet seat in an unheated bathroom. The Western toilet in my apartment is one of the worst parts of my morning, up there with the seemingly eternal 2 minutes that it takes to walk from my bedroom to the bathroom, change out of my pajamas, and get into the shower. Then there's the part where I dry off with the cold towel that is still wet from when I used it the morning before. Dante should have incorporated this experience into one of his circles of hell. It reminds me of a scene in Roald Dahl's memoir about his childhood, when he talks about the miserable hazing he underwent at boarding school. The prefects would force the younger boys to go to the "bog" (outhouse) ahead of them and sit on the toilet seat for about half an hour, so it would be warmed for the prefect when he was ready to use it. I can now empathize with both the prefects and their victims. What I wouldn't give for a bog warmer. (Hint, hint, Santa. I promise I've been good this year.)
Next week I will be in Taiwan, which will put me out of blogging contact until after Christmas. So let me take this opportunity to say to all of you back in the land of heterogeneity, Happy Hannukah-Christmas-Kwanzaa. I hope it is very merry. Much love, and miss you all.
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