VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, WRITING'S ON THE WALL

Ladders, mirrors, umbrellas and pennies: America has some interesting (and sometimes confounding) superstitions. However, in recent discussions with my third year students it's become clear that Japan is host to equally, if not more, strange beliefs.  Here are several that I thought worth sharing:

• Don't kill spiders in the morning. Morning spiders are considered good luck, and if you kill them, you are essentially squashing your luck for the day.
• Don't sleep with your head facing north.  Only the dead are positioned northward.  I have had teachers check to make sure that my bed in the apartment is facing the right way.
• Whistling at night attracts snakes.
• Sticking your chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice signifies death.
• If you find shed snake skin and put it in your wallet, money will come to you. 
• The numbers 4 and 9 are unlucky; 4 can be pronounced the same way as the word "death" in Japanese, and 9 means "pain."
• On a related note, there are also particular ages that are considered terribly unlucky, called yakudoshi. 
• If you lose your teeth, there are a couple of rituals to follow: top teeth should be thrown up in the air; bottom teeth should be buried.
• When making a donation at the local shrine, you should give 25 yen.  The 2 means "double," and the 5 (go yen, or goen) means "relationship" [with god].  Never give 10 yen, or toen, as toen means "far" [from god].
• Black cats are good luck.  
• If you cut your nails at night, you won't be with your parents when they die.
• When you hear thunder, cover your navel, or you'll have bad luck.
• If you play with fire, you'll wet the bed at night. 

My favorite is: if you lie down right after eating, you will turn into a cow.  Moooo. 

STATUS UPDATES

One of the things I love most about living in Japan is the interactions I have with my students and fellow teachers.  And every so often, there's an incident that I feel compelled to share on Facebook.  Here are some of the latest and greatest:

First years had a quiz in which they had to write a short self introduction. Some winners:

"My parsonalty [personality] is silent." 

"I belong to the take pictures club. I am Lazy."

And, lest you ever felt self-conscious about your extracurricular choices in high school (brass band, drama club, mathletes, etc.), fear not.  From one student: "My hobby is practicing an abucus [sic] called "soroban" in Japan."  

Best party trick ever. 

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As I walked into school this morning, one of my favorite students rushed up to me, flailing her arms, saying, "Did you hear the news?!" Thinking something wonderful had happened to her, I asked what was up. "Maybe Justin and Selena got married!" she said, breathless. It took me almost a full minute to realize she meant Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.

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Today second years studied the expression "It's all Greek to me." They were asked to write a short dialogue using the expression. Two girls wrote:

A: I want to go abroad this summer, but I'm worried.
B: Why are you worried?
A: Because it's all English to me!

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Foreign policy granny crowed to me last night about a return she got on a recent investment. I asked what she had invested in. "Dollars!" she said. "You mean you bought dollars?" I asked, a little shocked. "Yes! I bought dollars at 84 yen, and now it is 100 yen! Abe is great!"

I'm glad that she's getting joy from my pain.

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Was informed today that one of the teachers at my school harbors a dream of braiding my hair. That's a first.

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Second years were asked to give their advice on a number of problems. The prompt: I see my boyfriend talking a lot to a girl at our school. He says they are just friends, but I'm worried that he likes her more than me. What should I do?

Student's answer: "I think that she should have him fall in love more. For that, I think that she should make an effort. And then, let's grip his stomach with her dish!"

HUSH, HASHIMOTO

Lately (since the naissance of my political consciousness during the second Bush administration) I have despaired of American politics.  There are days when I read the news or watch clips from C-SPAN that the words of West Wing press secretary CJ Cregg leaving a particularly hostile press conference echo in my head: "Set fire to the room. Do it now."  

As suspect as I find most people involved in the sausage factory that is the legislative process, I take solace in the fact that Americans are not alone in being governed by those with questionable agendas.  Case in point: Toru Hashimoto, the mayor of Osaka.  Hashimoto-san is currently stumping for the election of members of his party, Nippon Ishin no Kai (Japan Restoration Party), to the upper house of the Japanese Diet.  Last week he made waves when he was quoted as saying that comfort women were "necessary" during World War II.  If you aren't familiar with the story of comfort women, here it is in a nutshell: imperialist Japan raided Korea and Manchuria in the early 20th century, and as part of their conquest, pressed local women into sexual slavery and placed them at the disposal of the Japanese military.  The argument at the time was that soldiers needed a reprieve from the war.  Since then, the practice has been slammed by human rights groups, women's groups, and multiple foreign governments.  In 1965 the Japanese government paid $364 million in reparations to South Korea, and in 1993 the Japanese government issued an official apology.  

Toru Hashimoto.  From www.shopgisreports.com

Hashimoto's lenient views of Japanese history and his assertions that American soldiers based in Okinawa should avail themselves of the local sex trade to let off steam have landed him in scalding hot water.  Groups representing women and human rights have lined up to denounce his remarks, as have surviving comfort women, the U.S. State Department, the governments of China and South Korea, and even the mayor of San Francisco, where Hashimoto is slated to make a visit in the upcoming weeks.  Japanese politicians have taken pains to distance themselves from Hashimoto as well; many leaders have criticized Hashimoto and called for him to retract his statements.  Nippon Ishin's ally, Your Party, announced that it would no longer be cooperating with them in the Diet elections, citing "different values."  Even Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has been pressured to respond; in the past, Abe has denied that women were forced or coerced into wartime prostitution.  

I raised this topic with my favorite panel of Japanese experts, the grannies.  I thought we'd all have a good eye roll at the expense of politicians and the impolitic things they say, but as usual, they surprised me.  

Beatles Granny started off by saying that there were no records that the Japanese military had employed sex slaves.  (I looked this up; this is debatable. There are records of the women who later testified to being raped, though the women are often listed as "nurses" attached to Army units.)  Granny Granny spoke up and said that in some cases, like in Korea, local businessmen willingly offered women to Japanese soldiers (no doubt as a form of appeasement).  Her take seemed to be, "Don't be angry with us for something you facilitated and organized." 

Lone Grandpa was especially vehement.  He kept saying that no one was mad at Germany now that World War II was over, and that even the US and Japan could be friends, so why can't China and Korea let go this issue of comfort women?  He argued that the notion of human rights did not yet exist during World War II, and that it is unfair to view Japanese actions in a revisionist light.  Moreover, everyone was horrible during World War II.  Why are the Japanese continually singled out, as opposed to the Germans or the Russians?

Lone Grandpa also introduced the issue of Yasukuni Shrine.  Yasukuni honors those who fought in Japan's wars, including individuals who are considered war criminals.  Every time a politician visits the Yasukuni Shrine to pay homage, it incurs the wrath of the Chinese and the South Koreans.  To calm relations, the Japanese make some sort of grand diplomatic gesture, such as welcoming Chinese and Korean teachers to visit Japan for a time.  Things then normalize, and everyone goes back to being copacetic until the next visit to Yasukuni.  Lone Grandpa referred to this over and over again as "blackmail." He said that 68 years later, the Japanese are still paying compensation for World War II in some form or another.  LG's uncle died in a kamikaze attack in Okinawa, and for him, paying respect to his uncle's memory at the Yasukini Shrine is important.  He is indignant that any foreign power would criticize what he views as a domestic affair, deeming it a private tradition.  

Yasukuni Shrine. From commons.wikimedia.org

The group was of two opinions concerning what should be done in the future regarding Japan's stance on comfort women.  One side said that Abe should be stronger and tell China and South Korea to let it go and get over it.  The other side said that Abe needs to be smarter and not provoke China and South Korea by allowing Japanese politicians to continue airing these issues.  Personally, I doubt Abe will do much of anything.  He's too jingoistic to kowtow to China and South Korea (particularly when Japan is at odds with these countries over territory), but he also can't needlessly provoke two economically powerful neighbors.  And since Abe was chastised for antagonizing China and South Korea during his first, short-lived stint as prime minister in 2006-2007, he's probably trying to keep a lower profile this time around, primarily focusing on reviving Japan's economy.   

The last word in the discussion came from Beatles Granny, who said, "The Chinese and the South Koreans don't like Japan. And you know what, I don't like them either!"  

So much for postwar harmony.  

TRAVELS IN THAILAND

Since my trip to Vietnam in March, it's occurred to me that maybe Japan has ruined me on international travel.  In two years I've grown accustomed to order, safety, politeness, quiet, and surgical-grade cleanliness in public spaces.  The problem is, the destinations I find most compelling are decidedly the inverse of the things that make Japan such a great haven.  After the debacle that was Vietnam, I was concerned that I might start limiting myself to the Swedens and Canadas of the world, simply to avoid being cajoled, hassled and discomfited.  In fact, the prospect of my trip to Thailand at the end of April made me anxious.  

It turns out, there's a lot to like about Thailand.  Children go to school instead of begging in the streets, and when school is over, they hang out at mom or dad's work or play with their friends. They have childhoods, in other words.  The majority of people seem to have a decent standard of living (or at least smartphones and tablet computers).  The streets are clean, free of litter, feces, or rotting foods.  Ditto on cleanliness in public toilets, which 95% of the time offer soap and toilet paper.  

Thai people know a lot about their culture and their history, and they are eager to share it with farangs (foreigners).  Day 1 in Bangkok we were stopped three times by strangers, all men.  They peppered us with questions: Where are you going? What will you do? How long are you in Bangkok? We were wary at first of their interest; experience had taught us that there is usually a catch (often monetary) to this kind of unsolicited friendliness.  We tried to be vague in our answers, but they pushed ahead, unfurling our map and pointing to places of interest, telling us what time we should visit these sites, and what we should see.  Towards the end they'd advise us on how much we should pay for rides around town and gave us tips on how to negotiate with drivers.  Then they'd give us a friendly wave and say, "Have a good day!" No money changed hands. 

Thailand is a sensory experience.  It's hot, so hot that we easily drank (and sweat out) a couple of liters of water a day.  The streets smell of garlands of jasmine being sold at temples, or vast vats of curries and stir-fries blistering with chilies simmering on the sidewalk. We saw exotic temples and giant Buddhas, elephants and monkeys, warriors and dancers, caves and crumbling ancient walls, and surfaces glittering and gilded. Here I want to give a shout out to the Grand Palace in Bangkok. It was, literally, one of the most dazzling places I've ever been...and I made the pilgrimage to Graceland.  Every centimeter is crusted with rhinestones, mosaics of brightly-colored glass, and lustrous gold.  Liberace would be green with envy.  

The bedazzled Grand Palace, Bangkok

The Grand Palace, Bangkok

The Grand Palace, Bangkok

If you want to live the good life in Thailand, it's fairly simple.  If you aren't the king (whose portrait is ubiquitous) or a foreigner possessing savings in a currency stronger than the baht, become a monk.  Of course, if you are female, forget monkhood. This is a boys only club.  Monastic life is commonplace in Thailand, and most Thai men are monks at some point. Indeed, one of the former kings of Thailand was a monk for over 20 years before he ascended the throne. Many male children are sent to monasteries to be educated, and some people consider men who have not been ordained or served as monks to be "unripe" for marriage.  

The perks of being a monk are manifold.  If you are a monk and a train station is packed with people, have no fear.  There is a special seating section for monks with ample space for you.  

Sign in Bangkok train station

You can often catch a quick ride (sometimes for free) on a songthaew.  There's a line for the bathroom?  No problem.  Monks get their own bathrooms, separate from men, women and lamers.

And when you pass away after having devoted your life to Buddhist mediation and good works, a silicone statue will be created in your exact likeness.  It's not a gold watch, but some might say it's better (and infinitely more unsettling).   

Plastic and eerily lifelike to a point that is creepy.

The following is an account of my top monk memory (TMM).  Our hotel in Chiang Mai was ideally situated; I came to think of it as the optimal triangle. It sat across the street from a beautiful temple, Wat Chedi Luang, and directly next to a well-stocked 7-Eleven.  It had become our custom to duck into any 7-Eleven we saw to buy Coke Slurpees, which for some inconceivable reason are not offered in Japan.  One night I was filling up and saw a novice monk, maybe 9 years old, who was awkwardly contorting his body  with his back to me.  It seemed strange, and had he not been a a novice monk, I probably would have investigated to see if he was trying to lift something from the store.  It wasn't until I made my way towards the register that I could see what the problem was.  In one small hand he had a wad of baht, and in his arms he was trying to cradle 2 large iced teas and 2 large Slurpees, none of which had tops.  He somehow managed to make his way to the cashier to pay (and have tops put on his drinks).  We looked at each other, checked out each others' Slurpees, and laughed.  

It feels good to know that monks are just like everyone else.  They drink juice boxes.  They arm wrestle with friends. They check their cell phones during prayer meetings when they think the adult monks aren't looking.  And apparently they make late night runs to 7-Eleven for Slurpees.  

This is a good life. 

Reclining Buddha, Bangkok

Reclining Buddha, Bangkok

Wat Chedi Luang, Chiang Mai

Long Live the King