KUUKI YOMENAI

Sometimes over the course of a Japanese conversation you'll hear someone say KY, which has nothing to do with personal lubricant and stands for kuuki yomenai.  Curious, I asked one of my students one day what this meant.  "Oh," she said, coloring a little. "It means 'can't read the air.' It's not a good thing," she said as an afterthought.  KY is essentially when someone can't read a situation properly, like that guy at parties who walks up to someone they haven't seen in a long time and starts asking questions about the other person's significant other, not realizing that everyone else is shifting uncomfortably and the respondent is giving one-word answers because the couple recently had a nasty break up.  People usually feel embarrassed about these kinds of slip ups when they come to light, but in Japan, they're a deep source of shame.  

Foreigners are particularly prone to being KY, especially cultures that are accustomed to communicating in a "shoot from the hip" manner.  This straightforwardness can come off as aggressive or confrontational to the Japanese, who try to evade such rudeness by avoiding saying things that are negative, like the word, "No."  It takes time and experience to be able to "read the air" and fathom what's going on in these nebulous situations.  

For example, you might approach your boss with a proposal and receive the response, "Hmm, muzukashii" (difficult). But what does that mean? Where on the yes-no-maybe spectrum does that fall? If you answered, "no," then you're correct.  "Muzukashii" is code for, "Nope. Not going to happen."  This ambiguity is meant in the nicest way possible, allowing people to save face.  However, it can be frustrating for those who can't read the signs and just want a clear cut answer.  JETs have dozens of stories in this vein, from asking for feedback on their teaching and being told they were doing fine and didn't need to improve, to questioning a compliment someone paid them and wondering if it was really a backhanded criticism (it's usually not a good sign when someone says, "Oh, that skirt is interesting," or, "You wear such bright shirts.") Thus, it is nearly impossible to get certain kinds of feedback in Japanese society, or even to learn peoples' opinions on particular topics. So I was surprised at my most recent meeting with the grannies, when they began to hold forth on foreign policy.  

The conversation started when Current Events Granny said, out of the blue, "Obama doesn't care about America's relationship with Japan."  Taken aback, I looked around the table to gauge the others' reaction, and found them all nodding vigorously, saying, "Yes! It's true, isn't it, Eri-sensei?"  Current Events Granny continued, "He only cares about China and South Korea! I know that Japan's economy is not good. It is a big worry.  I know that our population is getting smaller, but..."  The end to this sentence was clear: "But he should take us seriously!" Apparently the country was chapped when the American government didn't come out with a stronger stance against China's aggression over the Senkaku Islands.  Never mind that nothing and no one lives there and the "islands" are essentially two barren rocks.  Pride is everything. 

The source of all the trouble: Senkaku Islands

So there I was in the diplomatic hot seat, feeling as though I needed to defend my homeland and the foreign policies of a man I've never met.  I tried to argue that America feels secure in its relationship with Japan as we do with the United Kingdom or Germany, but that we have to pick our battles (they liked this idiomatic expression) and shore up some of the priorities in the Pacific, like China, who has huge financial power but is somewhat prickly and erratic, and South Korea, which is a stable country friendly to the US, but is next door to a country that is definitely prickly and incredibly erratic.  I didn't mention that it's also probably in Japan's best interest for America to maintain a good relationship with China especially, to give us leverage when the Chinese government flies off the handle about things as minute as a couple of rocks in the ocean.  I'm not sure that this convinced the grannies, who were feeling rather cantankerous, but the discussion did shift to the emerging world powers, particularly BRICS.   I commented as an aside that I couldn't figure out how Russia made that list, and Current Events Granny exploded, "Putin! I dislike him!"  Shocking!  The Western equivalent of this statement would be: "Putin! What a mother$%#*@*!" Before we could delve into this latest outburst, Lone Grandpa started asking me about the history of Israel and Palestine.  Honestly, I know less than I would like about this history, and so I ended up giving a brief sketch of the book of Genesis with Abraham, Sarah and Hagar and then jumped way into the future with the end of WWII and the creation of the state of Israel, leaving out a millennium or two of history in between.  The group sat through all this quietly, diligently taking notes, and when I finished, Lone Grandpa's response was: "Israel. They are troublemakers." "I know!" said Beatles Granny, "Since ancient times!"  It appeared no one was to be spared the wrath of the grannies this day.    

However, the group will be happy to know that Japan's refusal to go quietly into that goodnight is being noticed by the Western world.  The Japanese military is starting to reach out to some of its Pacific neighbors (and beyond) to train foreign militaries in Japanese tactics and strategies.  It should be noted that the readiness with which some of these countries have accepted Japan's overtures (many of whom had less than pleasant experiences under Japanese imperialism) is a testament to just how nervous China makes everyone.  It will be fascinating to see what comes of these collaborations, and what, if any, effect it will have on diplomacy in Asia, not to mention the Japanese military.  Will they expand their defense systems, or will things remain as they are?  

TOTO SAN

On their recent visit to Japan, my aunt and uncle spoke frequently of their need "to visit TOTO-san."  TOTO is the leading manufacturer of Washlet toilets in Japan, which are some of the most technologically advanced thrones in the business.  Seriously, the number of buttons on a Japanese toilet make you feel as though you're sitting in the cockpit of a spaceship.  

From http://www.thefastertimes.com

Visitors to Japan constantly remark on the Washlet facilities.  "Ahhhh," said a friend who had visited Japan previously, "I've missed the heated toilet seats here. They are awesome."  A family member told me in hushed tones after a bathroom break, "I have to say, I really like the bidet function.  I mean, I used to think, 'Gross,' or 'Uncomfortable,' but really, it's quite nice and cleansing."  For those of you who are missing out with your cold, dirty, boring toilets, good news: TOTO is hoping to create a niche for itself in the international toilet market, bringing its civilized toilet experience to foreigners everywhere.  Allow me to throw my hat into this ring and say that I heartily support TOTO internationalization.  Our bums will thank us.