CONSPIRACY THEORIES

"Hey, did you hear that one of the lost tribes of Israel may be here in Japan?"asked LAL.

I studied her closely, wondering if this remark was prompted by the cold medication she was on.

"One of the lost tribes of Israel?" I repeated.

"Tell her! Tell her what your students told you this week!" LAL exhorted her husband.

The uber-rational BAL shifted in his seat for a moment before answering.  The story goes that a group of Israelites emigrated from Israel to Japan via the Silk Road.  They became known as the Hata Clan.  Over the centuries, Jewish customs began to permeate Japanese culture.  The tokin worn on the foreheads of Buddhist priests (yamabushi) are said to be derived from the tefillin worn by Orthodox Jews.  

Yamabushi wearing tokin.  From samuraidave.wordpress.com

Representations of the mountain god Tengu are reportedly based on Western physiognomy, perhaps even King David.  

One representation of Tengu. From amazingnotes.com

The Japanese syllabary called katakana (used to transcribe foreign words into the Japanese language) is remarkably similar to Hebrew, as are certain words in both languages.  The mikoshi (portable shrines) used in Japanese religious festivals have been likened to the Ark of the Covenant.  Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  A comprehensive list of comparisons can be found at this website, written by a self-proclaimed Japanese Christian.  

Mikoshi being carried.  From  http://pictures.nicolas.delerue.org 

Some of the evidence in support of the connections between Japanese culture and Judaism resembles material from a third-rate stand up act.  The Hata were said to be "adept in financial matters," while images of the mountain god Tengu are characterized by a large nose. Sound familiar?! The implication is that since these stereotypes are often applied to Jewish people, they only reinforce the theories.  It doesn't help that at least one rabbi from the Investigative Body Amishav and a former Israeli ambassador to Japan, Eli Cohen, have been proponents of this historical narrative.  In fact, there have been efforts by the investigative body to perform DNA testing in certain areas in Japan, in order to prove that a link exists between the Israelis and the Japanese.  As far as I know, no genetic similarities have been found.

The most radical claim made by the Japanese-Judaism experts is that when the Israelites came to Japan, they brought with them the Ark of the Covenant. The ark was then hidden within the damp limestone caves on Shikoku Island, which have since collapsed. To me, this is most far-fetched assertion.  Somehow I doubt that the caretakers of the ark would have journeyed so far, only to conceal their priceless (wooden) treasure in a place where it was sure to sustain massive water damage. Apparently other people are skeptical as well; Shikoku is not listed under "Rumored current locations" on Ark of the Covenant Wikipedia page.  

Let's face it, we all know where the ark really is:

P.S. In case you want to learn even more, a TV program called "Mystery File" did a broadcast on the topic, which can be seen here: part 1, part 2, and part 3.

HEALTH CHECKS AND FEELINGS ON AMERICA

Two students recently returned from 10 months living in the US have started stopping by the staff room to chat and practice their English. Their English is pretty good, though it's become clear to me that they've picked up a very different kind of English from what their Japanese classmates are learning. Student Two, who lived in Indiana, kept dropping words like "sketchy," and the sarcastic use of the word "classy" in conversation. Student One, who lived in Georgia, told me that she had become quite the connoisseur of "black English," because many of her friends in Georgia are black. Even though I've heard the term "black English" from other Japanese people before, it still shocks me. I have to resist the urge to climb up on my soap box and deliver an impromptu lecture on why that term is offensive and wrong. I'm not sure that it would make much of a difference. Japan has no real point of comparison to the history of race issues in the United States. They have some abstract notion of it, such as one teacher whose subject is civics. He was talking to his class about the upcoming American presidential election. To prep for his lesson, he asked me about Romney and Obama, before inquiring, "The color- does it matter?" and then pointed at his skin.  It took me a full minute to figure out what he was talking about, and then I was appalled. But to the Japanese, it's a legitimate question, perhaps because race and ethnicity are a huge deal in their country, mainly in that anyone who is clearly not from their country is a big deal. American students visiting our school last month got a small taste of this. When I asked them if they were enjoying their time at our high school, two of the boys said, "It's so weird- they surround us wherever we go!" To which his friend replied, "Dude, it's 'cause we're black." 

I really enjoy asking students who have studied for some period of time in the States about their impressions. Mostly, they're shocked by things like the amount of sugar used in making desserts ("So sweet! Not good!"), the fact that the doors to public toilets don't go all the way down to the ground ("There is a gap! You can see the feet!"), and public displays of affection ("They were kissing! So nice. Americans are so...open." Another student differed: "So strange."). Students One and Two had a lot to say about how much they didn't like their host families, about how great it was that American high schools let you wear makeup to school, and how high school boys are stupid. "One guy asked me if I was Asian. I was like, um, yeah." Then at some point, we veered into the topic of personal grooming. They wanted to know, do I shave my arms (as in, my actual arms, not underneath)? Why do American girls shave their legs? Japanese girls don't do that. Student Two informed me that she had started shaving her pubic hair when she found out that American girls did (how she learned this fun fact, I don't want to know), and then gave me a rundown of the various problems she'd had with making alterations to that area. "I wasn't sure how much to shave, so I just got rid of all of it." It quickly became apparent by her wide-eyed stare that Student One, if not unaware of this grooming trend, had never considered trying it out herself. Still, she weighed into the conversation by asking me, "Do boys shave down there?" There was a lot of animated pointing throughout this exchange to the various body parts concerned, all while teachers and students walked past us. Yet the discomfort of this discussion pales in comparison to what happened later in the week. 

Today marks the second day this year where I have been ambushed at school and asked to remove my clothing for a medical exam without prior warning. Of course I'm behind on laundry, so I'm wearing my less-than-reputable underwear, and I ate lunch at the usual time, even though we were supposed to fast so we could have blood drawn. There was the in-depth questionnaire about my medical history translated for me by a helpful JTE in front of the whole staff room, with other teachers chiming in. "Are you taking any medications?" "Are you going to the bathroom more than normal?" And my personal favorite: "Are you pregnant?" However, nothing rivals the joy of carrying a Dixie cup of your own urine past a queue of your coworkers, who are also waiting for their health check. 

Still, I am grateful that I don't have the job of the female lab technician whose job it is to dip litmus papers in the urine, run them through some sort of machine, and then dispose of the remaining urine in a small covered pail that looks like an ice bucket. It's the little things in life.

Apple pie for our first Japanese 4th of July celebrations